From the Desk of Gabriel Morton: Home is where your Truth Beetles are.

From the Desk of Gabriel Morton: Home is where your Truth Beetles are.

Ah, home! Ah! Home! My collection of Truth Beetles confirmed what I had already cleverly deduced, Janice had nothing to do with my mysterious disappearance. I was already sure of this but decided the Truth Beetles needed a bit of practice and, after that particularly slipshod performance, I was correct. Janice wasn’t even fazed. About …

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From the Desk of Gabriel Morton: I should set fire to the great outdoors

From the Desk of Gabriel Morton: I should set fire to the great outdoors

[dication mode activated] [proximate thunder] AAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! [dictation mode deactivated] [dictation mode activated] [helicopter noises] I once fell down some steps and got my own toe stuck in my eye. That was the biggest toe I’d ever seen until today. I know it’s perspective but you don’t ever really expect to see a giant toe. Nobody …

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Witness the Cryptid

Witness the Cryptid

One of the things my childhood taught me is that inbreeding is a funny joke until you meet the results. This itself is not a joke. You’ll think it is because your distance from it will make it seem absurd but I’ve seen this absurd throw a chair at a teacher in year 5. He …

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The Crepes of Wrath

The Crepes of Wrath

My Recollection Bart goes to France. The cherry bomb in the toilet always interested me because fireworks were outlawed in Australia so the idea that kids could get a hold of explosives was amazing. I would later download the Jolly Rodger Handbook and make a few of the more basic things that explode along with …

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