Category: Front Page

Bart the Lover

Bart the Lover

My Recollection.

Come back, zinc! Ow, my eyeball! I am gay.

The morality that structures/suffocates my behaviour today wasn’t always the loudest voice in my head. It’s difficult to get a word in edgewise when the executive functions are piss-blind cretins, so I’d do things that amused me I’d today consider wildly immoral. One of the ones I found the most fun, and still do (even though I don’t do it), is tampering with people’s communications. Like posting on their Facebook, for instance. There’s an art to it, a line that’s beyond the pale for the individual but not so far as to set off any alarms takes some skill to intuit, and the shock from both them and their friends list was always a delight.

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TV Recommendations for the Newly Shut-In

TV Recommendations for the Newly Shut-In

I’ve Been Training for this My Whole Life.

There are two types of introverts: introverts, and losers pretending to have some control over their lives. I’ve been both, which is why I’m perfectly prepared to both cope with social isolation and to help you do it too. As the world is forced to spend time in its own company, people are slowly realising that they’ve never been happy, fulfilled, or in love, just busy. This is a grim realisation, a psychological forty days in the desert that will test and find wanting most who are stupid or unlucky enough to venture into it. Fortunately, you don’t need to, because there exists a readymade distraction: Television.

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